How to fix this part of my story?

How to fix this part if my story?

I'm having a hard time fixing this. I do better once someone fixes it


"Griffin, go feed the minions for," Uncle Vladimir ordered.

Vladimir picked up a silver bucket and shoved it toward me. I grabbed the handle and started walking to the barn. I opened the large barn door and walked into darkness.

Sweetand...

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Uncle Vladimir picked up a metal bucket and shoved it toward me. "Griffin! Go feed the minions," he ordered.

I grabbed the rusted handle and walked to the barn. Lanterns on each side of the door hung dark, no fire burned. Shadows danced beneath the moonless night. I shoved the door open. Nothing but blackness. Fear rose inside of me like an angry ghost. Summoning what little courage remained behind my resolve to obey my uncle, I shuffled inside.

Should I read the Women of the Underworld series by Kelly Arnstrong?

Should i read the women of the underworld series by kelly armstrong?

Why?

Sweetand...

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How old are you? It's important when you read to know your limits.

Kelly Armstrong is an excellent writer. She's really good at developing tension and motive in her stories. She gets the reader involved quickly with well-written hooks, followed by thought provoking plots. Her fight scenes can be brutal, yet satisfying. The main character doesn't always come out on top until the end of the story, but that seems more real to me. I love all of her books. She does include sex in her novels. So if that's not a problem, enjoy.

Does knowing what happens at the end of a book really spoil it for the reader?

If it does spoil it for the reader, why do readers read the last pages first and then begin reading the book forward from the beginnig?

Sweetand...

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Reading the story ending is a big mistake in my opinion. Why would anyone do that? Yeah, to do that would completely ruin the book for me.

But to answer your question: Maybe the reader gets too distraught not knowing how the story will end. So he/she reads the ending, deals with it, and begins reading the book from the beginning. Just an idea...

Now that I've said all that, there are books that have been written beginning with the ending first, before the rest of the story is told. Movies have been successfully done that way, too. It boils down to how well the story is told, I guess.

How to keep up with reading a book?

I read 10 pages in to this 2nd book of the series if books that I really like. This is the question I always get into a book and then I forget about it and forget to read it no matter how awesome the book is. I really want to read this book but I can never keep up with reading. Please help with any tips

Sweetand...

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There's an old saying that I really like. "You eat an elephant one bite at a time."

I have found that I make the time in my life for those things I really want to do. So if reading is something you really want to do...somehow I think you'll find the time. You sound like a very busy person. This is just a suggestion, but I have also found it helps to organize my days, which of course includes my time.

Reading is good for you. It builds vocabulary, relaxes, entertains, educates without you realizing it, and it gets you thinking; it's a healthy exercise for an active person.

"If wishes were fishes, we'd all have some fried." In other words if you want to read it's not going to happen until you want it to happen and adjust your life accordingly.

Is the book you're reading a long book? Perhaps what you need to do is start with a shorter read. Why not try The Crooked Swan by Julie Helm? It's not a long novel, but definitely a page-turner.

Need help with a story idea?

Need help with a story idea?

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A story transforms, emerges from a writer's mind much the same as a butterfly tears free of its cocoon. It's a creative process.

How do you come up with ideas for an original story?

How do you come up for ideas for an original story?

I want to write a story, but I want to try and make it as original as possible. Does anyone know how one comes up with such original ideas? =) Just the kind of methods people use to come up with ideas for their stories.
Thanks in advance

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Always be on the lookout for interesting story ideas. Watch people of all ages, shapes, sizes, and colors. Ask questions about what you see, hear, smell, taste, and how it made you feel. Use these feelings to develop the characters in your stories. Really notice the world around you. Is it windy, cold, hot? Ask yourself more questions--who, what where, why, how. Let the people you imagine tell their own story... Creativity is endless...but you've got to get your wheels turning...

People write a lot about what they like to read. What do you enjoy reading? Your job as an author is to come up with different twists to a story plot. So play the question game. I do it all the time. Example: I noticed a chubby little girl in a bathing suit that seemed too small for her body yesterday at a splash park. I asked myself...so why is her suit so small? I laughed at what I came up with. I imagined that perhaps her suit was too big for her yesterday. So suddenly... I understood the little girl is growing at a rapid rate for a child. Why? Growth hormone problem? Or is she part of another alien race that has lived among us for thousands of years, and she develops differently? It was then I noticed her voice was much lower than other children her age. And was it my imagination that she smelled slightly fishy? Perhaps it was the water. I thought so...until I noticed her fingers were webbed. Where on Earth had this little girl come from?

It's called The Writer's Question Game. Play it in a group or by yourself. It's a lot of fun.

What are the best teen fiction books on Wattpad?

Sweetand...

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I don't know if The Crooked Swan is on Wattpad or not. But I do know it's one of the best teen fictions out there right now. It's not a series book; it's a one time read, but Wow! It builds in momentum throughout the story and has a surprise ending that seems to be catching everyone who read it completely off guard--a wonderfully entertaining book, well worth a read.

I'm writing a horse book and I need help.?

OKay, so I have decided to write a novel about horses. I was thinking it could be about a girl and her horse that she keeps in a run-down stable near her house. I need some ideas, though. What should the problem be? The title? How should I start it?

Sweetand...

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You need to play the question game--who, why, what, where, when, how. You'll come up with the best answers that way. A story develops because an author took the time to ask questions; it's called brainstorming, and it works.

Is it a fantasy or nonfiction? That makes a difference. Why would the horse be at a rundown stable? Doesn't her dad know she has a horse? Is it a secret? How is she hiding the horse from her family? What happened to her dad? Why won't he allow her to have a horse? Maybe it's her mother? Did she have a brother or anyone in her family that was injured because of a horse? Does she have a friend that needed to hide the horse? Maybe the horse isn't even hers? Where is this all taking place? A farm? A cattle ranch in Wyoming? Does she live on a horse ranch with no horses? Why? Is her horse stolen one night? By who? Does she runaway from home to find her horse and meet someone who helps her rescue her horse. Who would that be? A boy? Is her horse a runaway? Where did she get her horse in the first place?

Does the horse talk? How is the horse unique to her? Is the horse a teenage boy trapped in a horses body? Who or what cursed the boy? Can the curse be broken? Are there fae creatures involved? Werewolves? Is her dad a werewolf? Maybe her entire family is a werewolf? Is that why her dad doesn't want a horse? Because someone in her family would end up eating her horse? Does the horse ask her to help it break the curse. Does she and the boy successfully break the curse? Does the boy end up a werewolf at the end of your story so they can be together?

I give my stories working titles and final titles. Often times, the title to your book comes from your story. You find some catchy phrase in your written words that works perfect for a title. If not that, come up with a title that fits the content of your story.

Brainstorming is a lot of fun, but it also eventually provides the meat you want to include in your story.

Good luck.

Creating Things with Magic a Cliche?

Is the idea of creating things with magic a cliche for a novel?

In my book wizards (who are very modern and use their own advanced technology) can create things for themselves or other people or make things they own appear. There are limits, though. They can't create or make weapons appear, they can't create their own valuables or expensive gadgets, and on one-third of all the wizards can create food. I started thinking it sounds a bit much like The Fairly Odd Parents, but is all of this cliched?

Sweetand...

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No. You get to make up and write about your own world. With all magic there is a price. So some wizards are much more powerful...and able to pay the price of great magic, while others are much less powerful and often nearly kill themselves if they overuse their magic. 

Your greatest challenge is to make it seem believable...

Starting Out Writing a Story...Opinions?

Starting out writing a story, opinions on what I've written so far?

Graham stood observing his surroundings. Blaring music and raised voices, the atmosphere here was not to Graham's taste. He remained however, in the shadows, as he scanned the club. It was as he expected, run-down, with it's tacky furniture and failing, almost incomprehensible LED signs and other miscellaneous items dotted around the place. The slight stench of piss and damp was not helping. The bar was no better, but he began to feel watched and did not desire to raise suspicion, so he approached the bar and casually leant against it. The sneaking suspicion he was being watched, however, did not fade. He turned his head to a table situated close by and took note of three men seemingly lost in chatter. Graham was not fooled, noticing their continuous glances in his direction. He continued to watch them whilst sipping the beer he had just ordered. He did not recognise any of them. Not that he expected to; he was new to town. He suddenly locked eyes with the youngest of the three, a tan-skinned teenager, whom nervously broke eye contact instantly. Adjusting his glasses with a bemused look on his face, Graham got up off his seat. Walking towards the table occupied by these strangers. As soon as he reached the table, he was addressed by the shady-looking man, 'You here for Nick?' he grunted, Graham barely heard him over the music and gave a slight nod. In response to this, the man shrugged and looked to the others and back to Graham. “Come outside,” he bellowed as he rose off his seat. Graham followed suit, but his path was now blocked by four men sporting pool clubs. The leader of the pack stood drunkenly observing Graham while his companions leered in his direction. “I've heard 'bout you...” he slurred, “You ain't got no business around here.” The sound of Graham's footsteps filled an otherwise deserted street. The atmosphere here was preferred and he took the time to ponder the possibilities that lay ahead.

Be as honest as you like.

Sweetand...

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

You need a better hook. If you can...hook me with the first sentence.

Example: Was he being tailed? Watched? Graham couldn't decide. He stood in the night shadows of an alley, trying to appear invisible. But he knew he wasn't...not to a bad man on the run. Men like Graham had to be prepared to face losers in the most disreputable places. He was used to danger. But these kind of joints were too plentiful nowadays...a breeding den for criminals and those running from the law, and he stood in the middle of it.

Loud music blared suddenly above raised voices near the club. Graham stared at the window to the left of a steal door that led inside. Warped ply board covered the window with black painted letters that boldly stated...Beware or Die! Faded LCD signs and a few broken chairs outside the place lent it the kind of atmosphere that lacked any kind of class. Graham wrinkled his nose. The stench of piss and rot permeating the air only confirmed his suspicions. His prey was here...somewhere...because this was exactly the kind of dump the loser he'd been hunting down the last few days would hide.

Graham stretched his neck then zipped up his leather jacket. It wouldn't do to show any of the low life's inside the bar that he carried iron. He had no death wish. "You're mine, buddy," he whispered. Taking a deep breath, he lowered his head and slumped his shoulders, shoved his hands in his pant pockets, and walked out of the alley.

Keep in mind that you're not supposed to be telling me your story. You're supposed to be showing me your story as it happens. There's a big difference. You've got good vision. I like that. Your description is nice. Get your story told, but try not to repeat yourself. All great stories have forward movement. You can't stop that forward movement with redundant words or your story slows down. Break up some of your sentences. And put whatever you can (when he deals with those in the bar) into dialogue. It will make your story stronger.

I want to read a story that feels like it's happening in the moment.

Questions:

1. What does a shady looking man look like? Don't tell me. Show me.
2. What told him the teenager he saw in the bar was nervous. Was the teenager doing something that showed Graham he was nervous?
3. Do men chatter? Make certain the verbs you choose fit the characters you are creating.
4. Watch for clichés. Graham followed suit? Think of another way to say that with a better verb. How about? Graham rose but was blocked by four muscle men holding pool clubs. And what about 'leader of the pack'? Big cliche that doesn't work here if you want it to be more professional.
5. Graham barely heard him over the music? Would it be better for Graham to do something here (cup an ear, tilt his head) to show him he was struggling to hear over the music?
6. Whilst sipping a beer? Your vocabulary needs to fit the characters and the scenes you are creating in your story. Whilst does not work.

Every time you change dialogue...you should be starting a new paragraph. That's a must. It is too difficult to read without paragraphs. So you need to do get in the habit of doing it.

All stories need to have a flow. Again, you are doing far more telling. Showing involves the reader as the story unfolds. I tried to give you a quick example.

Good luck and keep writing. That's the only way to get better. It sounds like you've got a fun story. But like anything...it's all in the way you tell it.

I want to write a story...?

Ok, so Ive always wanted to write an interesting story but whenever I do I always give up bcuz they're always boring and Im lazy. Ive been inspired by the hunger games and want to write a story about the fall of the U.S.. Do you guys have any ideas that u wudnt mind me using?

My answer:  Study some of the histories of fallen governments...Rome, Greece, Egypt, to name a few. The histories of ancient races are usually about corruption of governments, societies, and families. You will get plenty of ideas. Read about Alexander the Great,Mark Antony, Phillip of Macedonia, Abe Lincoln, George Washington, modern day generals. Read about battle strategies to get ideas. Study their ideals. What made them great? Why did the colonists in America win the Revolutionary war against all odds? What did they posses that leaders like Obama don't have? Compare the greatest known leaders in the world, past and present, and figure out why this country is struggling. You will get the attention of everyone nationwide...and it certainly won't be boring. Hope this helps. Writing anything worth reading involves studying...and an incredible amount of thought provoking energy. There is nothing lazy about it. Do it because you love it...and because you can't stop yourself from doing anything else.